To continue with the amazing awakenings I have been having for the last few months (see my blog posts beginning with Apirl 9), I wish to share with you a beautiful realization I had some weeks ago.
One night I awoke from a nightmare in the middle of the night that was terrifying. I used to have nightmares often as a child, but have not had to experience them for a long time now.
This particular dream was so frightening that I awoke feeling terror in my whole body and was breathing so hard I literally could not catch my breath for several minutes after I awoke.
In the dream I was being chased by a huge and ferocious bear. You have probably had those kinds of dreams, too, that felt so real. The bear was so fast and powerful that I started screaming as it came close to me, at which moment my husband, Doug, gently touched my shoulder and I could hear him saying, “It is alright, Darling, there is nothing to woryy about. It is just a dream.”
When I heard him I could feel myself still screaming but thankfully his gentle nudge woke me up. I have never had that much terror in my body and could feel the feelings for many moments after I awoke. From my interest in dreams for many years, I knew that this was a sign from my subconscious to pay attention.
I finally went back to sleep and just did not want to delve into the meaning of the dream that next day … I just wanted to go down to the ocean sanctuary that had been my refuge for these months.
On my way down the hill, I stopped at an overlook because the clouds were amazing, and I am a cloud watcher. I could see the beautiful sun rays shining down over the sea and just wanted to take it in.
All of a sudden, as I gazed out at the rays, I saw a huge bear in the cloud to my right! OK, that was my sign that it was time to deal with the meaning of my nightmare the night before. I asked my Higher Self to help me and soon realized that the bear represented a deep subconscious fear that I was in danger and there was no one to protect me.
What was very important for me to learn from this dream and the experience I had after awakening was the experience of a man (my husband) helping me and protecting me! My husband, I know in my heart, always protects me no matter what. So, I questioned my HS … why is that significant?
Then my HS showed me that I would always be protected by all the special men in my life … my son and other close male friends. The point of this exercise was for me to see that my OWN inner masculine is really the ONLY source of my real protection. To rely on others is to rely on something outside of myself.
When I allowed myself to feel the feelings, at the core of my fear of not being protected lay the little three-year-old part of myself that decided, at that time, that I had to take care of myself because, in my perception, my father could not. He was a loving dad but could not keep a job at that time and I felt that fear in my bones.
I have worked with that fear for many years and, as you can see in my other posts, have come into a place mostly of no fear. So I am thankful to this dream that uncovered yet another layer to be healed.
When I realized that this dream was showing me that little girl within, I asked my HS what I could do about it now? What happened next was beautiful and easy and flowed.
My little girl just began radiating a clear and powerful pink light from within me out into an aura around me and beyond. She said to herself, “I am Love.”
How simple. There was no need for delving into it for more information or uncovering another truth … the message was that it is LOVE … it is LOVE that heals and with that love within me I can affect all around me. It showed me that if I can just concentrate on love and hold that frequency, I am protected.
I included the photos above to show that pink light of love … the one with the whale was what the whales translated onto our film some years ago as we swam with them in Tonga. The pink light I saw in this meditation was a strong pink like that.
The only real security comes from within. Often I have heard the words from my soul , “My Light is much more powerful than anything outside of me.” These words have come to me in the last few years. I believe this dream was to bring me to that inner core place of total trust once again.