Deep Healing Journey

Trish at 2 Years Old

The Ignition

This is such a profound time for healing for all humanity.  It is the time of the Great Awakening.  We know that humanity and the earth are raising the frequencies from the third to the fifth dimension and to allow for this transition, the imbalance must be brought into balance.  What this requires is that the darkness that has permeated our human journey must come forward to be seen, then loved, and then transmuted into Light ultimately

When I can be totally in the Light of All Possibility I can see that it is ALL Light so there is nothing to do but accept this journey as it is and be in the knowing that all is God.  And as we all are moving in that direction and feeling more and more wisdom leading us there, I am healing on deeper and deeper levels to embrace that wisdom completely.  The journey of healing is leading me there, as it is for many.

About a year ago, when we were with the whales in Mo’orea in 2019, the clear message they gave us was, “Dive deeper.”  Oh no, I thought …  I thought I had already dived so very deep after expending twenty-five years in therapy and energy work before we came to Hawaii to work with the cetaceans for another twenty-seven years!  I know they have helped me to clear my fear of losing financial security, so I thought I was pretty well finished with the deep work!  I figure that I have been on this journey of self-discovery for more than fifty years!  You mean thee is more to unearth??!!

Living in Volcano on Big Island with Goddess Pele and her Fire of Purification has allowed this inner journey to unearth more stuff to be healed.  I am so grateful to be here in the rain forest surrounded by the sacred Ohia trees and a hot tub to soothe my body.

Since the powerful initiation I had with the humpback whales a few months ago back in October of 2020 (see the post below), I have been going even deeper within to allow my soul to ferret out any remnants from my years of healing my dysfunctional childhood.

A few days ago, I had yet another great awakening and profound healing of my little girl.  During the visions that I saw, I was dropped into the deepest level of compassion for humanity than I have ever felt.  I will share the story now.

My whole nervous system was in shock at the witnessing of the violence at our US capital last Wednesday, January 6 … you all know what I am talking about.  I felt very vulnerable and tender.  I have been in pain off and on for six weeks with a chronic neck tightness that arises when I am under stress (due to my thirty years as a Dental Hygienist.)  When this happens, I know that it is usually connected with something within my psyche that needs to be revealed and healed.

Since October with the whales, I have had much time to relax and just be since we are on sabbatical from our dolphin and whale retreat work.  This has allowed my subconscious content to come forward into my awareness … not fun but I know it is necessary.  I am in a place within that wants to be quiet, not working, and in the unknowing of what I am “to do” in the future.  I know that if I am to bring something creative forward, it must come from my heart and not from my ego and must be pure.  I will wait to see if there is more or if I am just to be for the rest of my life.  I surrender to my soul’s guidance.

Last Sunday, while I was feeling soft and vulnerable and sitting outside under the trees, I looked up into the clouds and saw a very clear cross symbolizing Jesus.  I asked Jesus to help me because I just knew the pain was leading me inward.  Right after that disappeared into the clouds, I saw a very clear Y for yes … so I said yes to whatever needed to come into my awareness.

I suddenly saw that the pain I was feeling was on the left side of my body, and my left side only.  That is the feminine side of the body.  I could see my feminine self on one side and my masculine self on the other side of a wall.  There was a door between them.

I knew I had to do some work on only my feminine side so I thanked my masculine and closed the door.

Then I felt a beautiful stream of purple light flowing over me … the Purple Light of Compassion.  While I was receiving this light, my soul told me that I had had a deep mistrust of men that began as I was very little, between two and three years old.  I did not trust God and I did not trust men, catalyzed by my father.  My father was the most loving being when he was not drinking, but since he was a raging alcoholic when I was young, most of the time it was scary to be around him.

At three years old, being intuitive, I just knew I had to take care of myself because he couldn’t truly do it and my mother’s fear and upset with five little ones did not allow her to either. Sunday, when this awareness came to me, I knew that I did not trust my inner masculine as well!  I think I have known that all along but this moment brought it into clarity.

At that point, my soul told me to go into the pain in my neck  … to become that pain.  When I did, a very powerful and frightening reoccurring nightmare from my childhood came into my awareness, and felt like it was in that spot where the pain was centered.  I had this nightmare often all through my childhood.

Here is what I experienced in the dream.  I saw myself as my little girl weirdly stretched out like Alice in Wonderland (the pictures that are in the original book, which were grotesque and scary to me!)  I was walking a tight rope.  I knew I had to walk perfectly and if I slipped off either side, I would either go to hell or something terrible would happen!

At the end of the tightrope was a huge ball of string, bigger than me.  In the nightmare, I would step into the ball of string and be crushed to death.  My soul told me to become that little girl and really feel that pressure.  Wow!  I did this and began to weep in despair as I allowed the clearing to continue.

Next, my soul told me to do “The Ignition” which is a process given to me by my soul last year that helps to balance the inner masculine and feminine.  Below is a link to a talk I gave that explains it.  I did the process and then what happened next was amazing.

Here is the beautiful part … after I did that process, I then could see that my divine masculine that was on the other side of that door, opened the door gently and came over to the ball of string.  He broke it open, found me in the fetal position in the center, picked me up, and put me in his lap.  He placed my little head next to his heart, held me close, and told me that he would protect me and it would all be alright.

This prompted tears flowing as I allowed my precious little girl to sink into this compassion and let go of all the fear of symbolically being crushed that I had been carrying deeply within for years.  This process cleared my unconscious belief that I was not safe and could not shine and be myself, and showed me that I did not trust my own inner masculine.

When this process ended, I realized that my amazing husband, Doug, personifies my inner divine masculine in that he is ALWAYS there for me to support me in so many ways each and every day … he exemplifies and mirrors to me the enlightened masculine and I feel so very blessed that the universe brought us together!  Now when I see him in his radiance, I can feel deep respect and unconditional love that I am learning to have for my divine inner masculine.  Thank you so much, Doug.

My mother always called me “the happy baby.”  I was born on Easter and she said I brought joy to all who saw me.  I can see that joy in the picture above and grieved for my two-year-old girl’s innocence as she soon became aware of the pain within and the dysfunction in the world. Now I am to free my little girl to move out of self-judgment and shine brighter.  I am getting an 8×10 picture made of her so I can have it out all the time to send her love and reassurance.  This was yet another cleansing that I knew was so important to help me merge with my soul.

While I was grieving for my innocence, I felt immense compassion for all of humanity!  I could feel the pain that every human being has had in this dimension for one reason or another over thousands of years.  I wept for humanity so deeply and I believe this experience has moved me to be more aware of the pain that is within most beings living in this third dimension.

Now, when I see the pictures of people in rage, I have compassion for them knowing that their pain must be very deep to bring about this level of rage.  This doesn’t mean that destructive actions can be excused at all, but we must listen more closely to what we all are feeling and believing in order to bring understanding and resolution for all in peace and harmony.

I believe it is important for us to hold space that we are all one … and, at the same time, in this third dimension, the stark reality of being here now is showing us that we are still evolving from third to fifth, hence the divide.  Love and patience is required.

I believe that to heal the divide, we must love ourselves unconditionally first, do the inner work to clear the subconscious content that is dysfunctional, and keep shining Light and Love to all human beings on either side of the big divide.  It is important to hold space in the centerpoint for humanity as we go through this transformation.  Whatever our role, it is most important to LOVE.

Here is the link to the video of my talk about The Ignition
(the beautiful harp music is by Kristin Aira Shaw www.kristinaria.com):