Trish’s 78th Birthday
My photo … looks like the Divine Mother
Here we are in the new year of 2023! I have not written in this blog since my re-birthing in July of 2021 … wow! If you are interested in the whole story, scroll down to July 2019 to the post entitled: “Darkness Into Light: Shock Into Awe.” I have always said that I will write when I am guided to and when I do have something to say, so here goes.
I am so glad to report that since that wonderful transition in my life, I have been happier than ever and so enjoying settling into just BEing for the first time in my life! With no obligations upon me, I have allowed myself to spend much time in nature each day in the rainforest among the sacred Ohia trees and ferns. On radiant sunny mornings, I can lay in the hot tub in the yard and meditate in the warm waters surrounded by sparkling trees. Immersing myself in this magical outdoor space is such food for the soul and has given me the opportunity to let go and allow on much deeper levels.
Ever since my re-birthing experience, I kept hearing the words in my heart … “let go and allow.” We have been attending our old meditation group on zoom that my husband, Doug, introduced me to when I met him 33 years ago (he had already been in the group for many years). David, our group leader, has always been so perfect as a spiritual guide (intelligent, grounded, humble, and compassionate). I trust him completely and being in this group changed my life back then, and now I receive so much inspiration when attending as well.
David’s teaching has simplified, as my own spirituality has as well, and he leads us into meditation in a clear way and has us simply “let go and allow” our souls to become conscious within our bodies so that we can really feel our connection to the divine. This fits so well with where I am spiritually and with what my soul tells me too. It is all about surrendering to my soul and not to my ego. And it is all about Love and Oneness, and I really don’t know if I will be guided to do more teaching or facilitating in the future. I am just open to all that is.
I find that I am shying away from all the rituals, processes, and detailed explanations of who we are as aspects of Source, and I just focus on my belief that we are all extensions of the divine expressing our uniqueness, shining our Light and Love. It has all become so simple for me and I love that.
After my re-birth in July of 2021, I pictured my newly birthed self born into the Light of All Possibility as a baby (again, see that story in the July 2021 post). Though I had thought the cord was cut at birth, I realized in February of 2022 that it really had not. So I cut the cord and freed the baby!
When my new baby was freed at that time, in my mind’s eye I saw that it really wasn’t a baby (or didn’t look like a human child) … it was just pure Light, like a little Light Being. Yayyy! That felt so right and I also learned that this part of me was named “Radiance.” She told me she was representing innocence and purity. Oh my … that was so wonderful because it meant that when I can be consciously aware of my soul, I have no limitations that my former self/ego imposed on me and can trust my soul to guide me forward.
I have spent this year and a half practicing letting go and allowing and I have found this to be so powerful for me on so many levels. If I find myself upset or worried, I feel it and let go. If I find myself holding my breath, I feel it and let go. If I find myself trying to control, I feel it and let go. Of course, I cannot do this every single time and have fallen into deep fear a few times for hours or one day, but I feel it and it always goes away eventually. For the most part, I am so happy, joyous, and grateful in almost every moment! It feels so good.
My dear friend, Diane, who used to be a spiritual teacher and is very wise, helps me to see that what I am really doing now is leaning into the feminine and learning to allow the unfolding in a really powerful way by learning deeper ways to RECEIVE.
During this year and a half time, when I am not “working” out in the world, I have had to really face my guilt that I am not producing and am just “being”, and my amazing husband is working hard instead. In astrology, my birth sign is Aries and my ascendent is Capricorn! I have always been about working hard and producing something of value … and even though I am definitely at retirement age, I have still had to deal with the guilt of not doing so.
Mother Mary, who to me represents the Divine Feminine, has been coming to me a lot lately and inspiring me to move ever more deeply into the feminine and receiving. I took that photo above at a lake in Portland this summer and it looks so much to me like Mother Mary! It inspires me to see it and helps me embody the essence of the feminine aspects of letting go and allowing … and receiving.
Last year on March 21, 2021, my husband, Doug, and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary! Wow … I am forever so grateful for this man in my life! We have enjoyed our marriage as a sacred partnership with a profound commitment to our union in every way for all these years. There is so very much I could say about Doug, but will make it short and just say that he is the literal man of my dreams! We resonate on every level and our spirituality is at the top.
Since Doug is a Leo and I am an Aries, you can imagine the fun and challenge of two high-energy fire signs living and working together 24/7! We have both learned to let go and allow as we have moved ever closer in our willingness to be totally vulnerable with each other over the years. It has been so much easier for me since my inner healing and re-birth a year and a half ago.
This movement of both of us toward the center of our relationship, to more balance, has brought us deep joy and peace … and so much fun too! We feel so light all day and have fun laughing and flirting with each other … and our intimate relations have evolved into a dream that we never even thought possible and especially at our ages! Oh yes, letting go and allowing.
I am so happy to share this great news with you of my year and a half of joy. I know that my inner work and this consistent mantra for me have made my life unfold in ways I could never have imagined. It is also so interesting that we are living in the smallest abode either of us has been in, and yet we are happier than ever! I know the life journey and spiritual growth are never done. I welcome it and I embrace this path that I am on wholeheartedly. Happy New Year!