Update: Diving Deeper

 

 

 

 

 

 

Onward and Upward!  To continue the story of our adventure into the unknown, I will tell you about our amazing experiences with the beloved humpback whales of Antarctica.

Since 2004 we have been taking groups of whale lovers to swim with our beloved humpback whales. We began in the Kingdom of Tonga for years and now are bringing groups to the mystical island of Mo’orea, which is across from Tahiti (part of French Polynesia).

There is nothing in the world, in our opinion, like being so close to a whale that they can look deeply into our eyes. In that instance, we feel that we are gazing into the multi-verse. The whales have such a powerful multidimensional energy that being with them in the ocean is like “Being in the Heart of God.” They bring us into that deep centerpoint within our hearts, the core of being of our souls that is void of all energy but of Source … deep silence.

My husband, Doug, and I have been conducting dolphin retreats in Hawaii since 1994 and I know that working with the dolphins has moved me light years ahead in my spiritual growth.  They have taught me joy and how to live in the flow of life.  The whales are another thing … with the whales I have learned to let go of fear and to surrender to my soul in a way that I thought would be impossible for me in this life time.  I do tell people that I truly believe that if we had not jumped off that cliff almost twenty six years ago and done the dolphin and whale work, I think it would have taken me at least two more lifetimes to be where I am spiritually now!  I am so very grateful.

Every time we take a group to be with the whales, the humpbacks give us a very simple and very profound message.  In past years we heard, “Allow the unfolding” … “Trust even if life looks like it is coming at you like a freight train” … “Be awake in the dream” …. and so on.  Beautiful and powerful messages that have informed our life.

This year the message was, “Dive deeper.”  Oh wow …. really???  I had felt that I had been diving deep all summer, but now again, there was more.  Sigh.  Well, I thought, life in this dimension is all leading to our oneness with Source … so, OK, I am willing to go deeper once again.  Bring it on!

If you have been following our adventure of being essentially “homeless” you will see how the magic has unfolded for Doug and me as we continue to practice living in the moment and completely following our guidance and what the universe has in store for us.  We do have some fabulous possible streams of income that are hanging out in the void for us … and we don’t know any of the timing.  So this gives us the opportunity to accept the moment and live in total trust that our destiny will unfold perfectly as time goes by.

Our Whales of Mo’orea Retreats that ended on October 5 were spectacular!  We had the most amazing encounters with singers and moms and babies and even swam with a rare species of dolphins too.  We came home completely filled with grace.  I did find, though, that facilitating this time was exhausting for me.  Whether it was because of the difficult summer or just my age, I felt that in 2020 we would most likely end our cetacean work and just retire.  As much joy that it has engendered for us over these amazing years, our guidance is that next fall will be our last Whales of Mo’orea Retreats.

We were blessed to find a house/cat sitting job in Kona for the week after we returned to Kona with our friend Maya … that was perfect.  The sweet cat that resided at our friend’s home was a rescue cat and was truly afraid of people so we had to be introduced slowly and quietly.

The night we returned I just could not sleep so early the next morning I was packing up to go to the spa at the Hilton to de-stress and take care of myself in the hot tub, sauna and steam room.  Ahhhhhh yes.  The cat (Leo) was an outdoor cat who slept outside at night.  When he came to the door at 6:30am, I did what I thought was a good thing and opened the door to let him in.  He did come in, took one look at me …. and sped out of the house!

Oh my, I thought … I did the wrong thing as Maya said if he did that he wouldn’t come into the house all week!  Eeeek!  I felt so bad!  When I got into the car, I was triggered and began to feel the feelings I felt at seven years old that “I didn’t do it right, was not perfect, so therefore I was BAD.”

I was raised strict Catholic and attended Catholic schools, including convent high school, all the way through.  The indoctrination went so so deep.  At seven (the “age of reason”) we were told we must be perfect, if we made mistakes or committed a “mortal sin” we would burn in hell with Satan forever with no means of escape!  AND, we must take care of everyone else first and foremost … NOT ourselves. Can you imagine those beliefs at that age??

I felt as though I had to be perfect and exactly like the Blessed Mother.  Add to this being in a large loving but dysfunctional Irish Catholic family.  I was so intuitive that I knew in my heart the struggles and pain my parents were feeling and wanted more than anything to protect them and not to make waves in any way, hence always striving for peace for them and therefore forgetting myself.  I know many of you know what I am talking about.  So common.

So, as I was driving up to the hotel that morning, I felt myself melting into that little seven year old girl feeling like she made a huge mistake and began to cry, emote and let myself feel those emotions.  It was the ugly cry …. so much so that I had to pull over and just let myself clear it all.  Ahah … this is what the whales meant by “diving deeper!”  Another inner layer to heal, forgive and love.  Thank you dear whales.

I feel so blessed that I have learned to be the observer along with the “experiencer” of my inner experiences which allows me to know that when I do get triggered, if I stay conscious of the process, I can be aware of what is happening at the same time that I can feel and allow the difficult feelings to come up to be seen and then healed.  What I found is that if I do it this way, I can clear that old emotional baggage very quickly.  It really works.

As I was allowing myself to just let go into the clearing I suddenly got the message from my Higher Self that I had been living horizontally and it was time to live vertically.  Huh??  I asked what that meant and here is what I heard:  “You have been going back into your childhood to heal your past, which is a very important thing … and you have been projecting into the future preparing yourself for ascension … all good.  But now it is time to live vertically.”

When I heard this, in my mind’s eye I could see what was being said.  I “saw” that I was floating on the surface of the Old Matrix (collective unconscious of mankind) … like a muddy ocean.  I could see the horizontal direction of going back in the past and forward into the future.  Then I “saw” the vertical intersecting in the center.

I could see that living vertically meant that now I was to focus on moving my energy higher and higher toward Source and moving down deeper into the earth to commune with Gaia, Mother Earth.  That felt so different from living horizontally!  I could feel the cross and where they met in the middle … the centerpoint.  Ah yes, THAT is the place where I want to move toward … the center.

In the centerpoint, one can then be in mastery because one can choose which way to focus consciously at which appropriate times.  Yes!  In diving deeper into the earth, I found the heart of Gaia and truly melded with her.  It was so beautiful.  I was so happy for that message and now will be practicing living vertically and see what shows up.

As for the miracles Doug and I are co-creating … or rather allowing … the next chapter has revealed itself and we were invited by our dear friend, Cindy Hartman, to come and live with her for as long as we need … for free!  Can it be better than this?!

Cindy was our beloved caterer for all of our dolphin retreats we were facilitating each and every month for our first eight years.  We grew to fall in love with her over all the years and have been like family for so long.  Cindy lives in Puna on the other side than Kona on the Big Island.

It is so gorgeous here!  Cindy’s house is only seven minutes walk to the ocean and we can see the ocean from our bed!!  See the photo above … though hard to see in the photo, we look out to the ocean surrounded by the jungle … just awesome!  We feel that we are in another “heaven on earth” here with our beloved friend and the quiet of the vegetation around us.  It is a perfect retreat here.

How blessed we are to have the freedom now to just be and to have the ocean and beautiful nature surrounding us to support our deep diving to discover our next steps in our adventure of life.  To have Doug by my side is the most amazing blessing of all … he is my rock and supports my spiritual journey as I do his.  What adventure lies ahead for us we do not know at this time … and we are so grateful that we have a place to lay our heads in peace and love and joy for now.  Alleluia!!  Will keep you posted.